Halloween Jokes

Hello my Freaky Darlings,

I hope you all had a very scary Halloween last night.

I’ve searched the web to bring you all sorts of ridicules Halloween Jokes. I hope you enjoy them.

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist? To improve his bite…

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite…

Why do witches use brooms to fly on? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy…

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying? With scare spray…

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire? A fur coat that fangs around your neck…

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately…

Why don’t skeletons ever go out on the town? Because they don’t have any body to go out with…

What would a monster’s psychiatrist be called? Shrinkenstein…

What did one ghost say to the other ghost? “Do you believe in people?”

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s corn flakes? A cereal killer…

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends? They’re so wrapped up in themselves…

What kind of streets do zombies like the best? Dead ends…

And now for some rather naughty adult Halloween jokes:

10 Things That Sound Dirty On Halloween, But Aren’t…

1. So…What’d you get in the sack?

2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!

3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!

4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!

5. I got the best piece from that house.

6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!

7. Stick your hand in and guess what you’re feeling….

8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!

9. They’ll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.

10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn’t get my mouth around it!

For more Halloween Jokes pop into these sites: Halloween Jokes and one liners and Halloween On-line.

Happy Halloween!

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