My wonderful editor, Jayne Southern, let me know about this weeks twisted song – I hold Your Hand in Mine by Tom Lehrer.
I hold your hand in mine, dear,
I press it to my lips.
I take a healthy bite
From your dainty fingertips.
My joy would be complete, dear,
If you were only here,
But still I keep your hand
As a precious souvenir.
The night you died I cut it off.
I really don’t know why.
For now each time I kiss it
I get bloodstains on my tie.
I’m sorry now I killed you,
For our love was something fine,
And till they come to get me
I shall hold your hand in mine.
In case you’ve never heard of Tom Lehrer (I hadn’t until Jayne told me about him) – Thomas Andrew “Tom” Lehrer (born April 9, 1928) is an American singer-songwriter, satirist, pianist, and mathematician. He has lectured on mathematics and musical theatre. Lehrer is best known for the pithy, humorous songs he recorded in the 1950s and 60s.