Hello, my Freaky Darlings!

Anybody who knows me, knows that I am NOT a Michael Jackson fan. I’ve never been able to understand people’s fascination with him. He was a loon who needed some serious psychiatric care, but never the less, I intend to share all the rather sick and twisted MJ jokes people have been sending me. So if you’re into tasteless jokes, these are for you!

Michael Jackson’s body is to be made into a slide so kids can go down on him once again.

The paramedics couldn’t use a defibrillator because it won’t work on plastic.

Elton John will be singing at MJ’s funeral, “Don’t let your son go down on me”

He was also an upstanding role model for black people the world over showing them all that they too if they just followed their hopes and dreams could one day be white.

Oh no! does anybody want to buy 2 Michael Jackson concert tickets for London in 3 weeks time? let me know a.s.a.p…

Funny that Farah did it with Majors and Jacko did it with Minors.

Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney films?

A: Disney films can still touch kids.

Did you hear? The Jackson Five are offering a 20% discount on their reunion!

Will his organs continue to be donated to children?

Michael Jackson did manage to whisper a brief message to paramedics on his way to the hospital… “Put me in the children’s ward.”

*Knock* *Knock*

Who’s there?

Not Micheal Jackson.

I don’t feel any emotion after MJ’s death… He never really touched me when I was younger…

When Michael got to heaven, Elvis saw him and whispered in St. Peter’s ear. St. Peter then told MJ at the pearly gates, “Beat it. Just beat it.”

Michael Jackson has died from a heart attack by the age of 50. It’s the first time he’s been screwed by anything older than 12!

Michael Jackson died of a heart attack? What did he do, walk into a room full of pre-schoolers?

Q: What did Ed McMahon and Michael Jackson have in common?

A: Ed always said “Here’s Johnny…” and Michael always said, “Where’s Johnny…?”

We really shouldn’t joke about MJ, think of all the people he touched, especially the children.

Q: Why did Michael Jackson die at 3:15?

A: “It’s when the big hand touches the little hand”

Michael Jackson hasn’t been this stiff since that time Macaulay Culkin slept over…

Jemaine said If it had been cancer, he could have beat it.

Michael Jackson had requested a sea burial …strapped to 2 buoys

Police are investigating the death of Michael Jackson. Initially, they had three suspects, they’ve now dismissed the Sunshine & the moonlight. But they haven’t yet ruled out the boogie

Michael Jackson died of a heart attack this morning after he discovered that Boyz II Men were a band, not a delivery service

Given that Michael Jackson was recently reported to be suffering from skin cancer, the coroner is not sure yet if the real cause of death should be blamed on the sunshine…..or the Moonlight, the good times or the boogie, but at this time he suspects it was the boogie

Police suspect a smooth criminal was responsible. He was not alone. There was apparently a man in the mirror who was very dangerous and wanted to be starting something even though MJ told him to beat it and was heard to say leave me alone. Nobody knows if the suspect was black or white

Los Angeles police have now been round to Michael Jackson’s Neverland ranch this afternoon. It is being reported that they found Class A drugs in his kitchen, Class B drugs in his bathroom and Class 4C in his bedroom.

The funeral directors are not sure whether to have a funeral for M.J or a Tupperware party

Reports of MJ having a heart attack are incorrect. He was found in the children’s ward having a STROKE

Apparently, he had an allergic reaction after eating 10-year-old nuts

I hear the hospital cannot dispose of the body until Monday………………………..It is not recycling week.

Shame about the heart attack, they tried to revive him but he just couldn’t BEAT IT, BEAT IT.

I’m really gutted that Michael Jackson has died – he really touched me when I was a kid

Due to the fact that Michael Jackson was 99% plastic…. He will be melted down and made into Lego Blocks so that the little kids can play with him for a change

When Farrah Fawcett arrived in heaven, god granted her 1 wish. She wished for all of the world’s children to be safe. So god killed Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson’s body is not to be cremated or buried. It’s to be recycled into grocery bags. That way he can continue to be white, plastic and dangerous for kids to play with.

As a tribute McDonald’s are going to create the McJackson burger; 50-year-old meat between 10-year-old buns

Now, please remember I didn’t write any of these. I’m simply exploiting them. And since these are Jokes that Jack would appreciate, I think it’s appropriate.

Have a great twisted Sunday!

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